Night of the big-ass bugs

     This post is a rant because I'm a tired, angry pregnant woman.  The third trimester isn't too bad so far but I'm getting tired really easily.  Just in time for all the packing/moving/cleaning we have to do in the next two weeks.  So I do what I can and then take breaks.  This weekend I was pretty much alone the whole time, so I was able to pack a few boxes, repair a seam in Matt's shirt, do tons of laundry, clean the bathroom,etc.  Tonight I'm trying to make my place look decent for bible study which is tomorrow.  

     I was standing in my kitchen, trying to get my laundry done when I saw a huge spider.  The little bastard was partially on the carpet, partially on the linoleum so it was impossible to stick a cup over him.  So I did what any sane person would do and tried to get him to move by throwing shirts at him.  It didn't really phase him.  So I took a spray bottle and kept squirting him with water, but he didn't seem to care too much.  So then I sprayed him with laundry starch.  He ended up looking pretty wet and stuck to the floor so I turned around and grabbed some paper towels to finish the job. Then a giant black fanged thing came speeding across the floor and I cursed a lot and threw a Tupperware bowl over him. Well part of him started to crawl under it and I thought he must be able to lift it so I threw the (about to be thrown away) waffle iron on top to make it heavy. Then I realized he was actually trying to crawl out of the spout.  So I stuffed the lint from the dryer in the hole and used a heavy cup to keep the lint in place.  I know this is way more elaborate than just stepping on the damn things but I hate being chased by anything, let alone a huge bug, so it's just easier to let Matt do it.  Plus it makes him feel manly to save me, right?  Well I looked over to where the spider was and he was GONE.  So I had a really pissed off, wet, starched, giant spider running around somewhere.  After a 10 minute stand-off I got a cup over him.  I walked over to the fridge to get water, and yet another giant spider was sitting there, probably with the spider equivalent of a smirk on his face.  Now poor Matt has three bugs to take care of when he gets home.  Thank goodness the Orkin man is going to come to our new place every few months, I am so sick of getting attacked.

He doesn't look all that intimidating in this picture but that's the leg of my entryway table and  the leg is pretty big so  it dwarfs him.  This is the starched one.

This is what Matt's coming home to.  The waffle iron isn't plugged in by the way, it's by the trash because it's useless.    I can't be the only one who goes through such elaborate lengths to trap bugs.  

I wonder what would happen if I put the spiders and the giant fanged thing under the same cup...

I can't identify the fanged thing but it's probably just a beetle.  Still, I feel all dirty.

Don't judge me.