I will never...oh nevermind

     Before I was a mom (all ten weeks ago) I had a lot of ideas about what kind of parent I would be.  Even if you babysit I don't think you will truly know what parenthood is like until it happens.  I figured as much, but I still judged other parents an awful lot.  There are a few things I said I would never do, but now I do them,  such as:

*I will never bedshare - hahahahaha.  Adrian normally wakes up as soon as you set him down. I would try to put him down for the night but he would wake up right away and want to eat.  He still eats for 45+ minutes at a time and likes to comfort nurse.  I wasn't getting any sleep.  After about a month I ended up sleeping on my side between him and Matt and it's been working well. I haven't moved in my sleep and I follow all of the safety precautions. Some say that it is safer and healthier to bedshare because the baby takes breathing cues from mom and she will be more aware if something goes wrong.   He has just started to be able to fall asleep in his swing or after being swayed in my arms rather than by nursing so we should be able to get him to sleep in his bassinet by our bed soon.

*I will never keep my baby out of the house (at a wedding, at the store, visiting someone) after 8:00 PM- Newborns don't have the same kind of schedule as older babies so I learned pretty quickly that this isn't a big deal.  You can make any kind of schedule with a baby and as long as they get enough sleep it's probably okay.  Since Matt has a weird schedule, we started out with a weird schedule so we could see him.  Adrian is starting to fall asleep "for good" at 10:00 and getting up for the morning around 8:00 or 9:00 A.M. Random story: One morning I woke up and Adrian was right in line with my face staring at me with his eyes as wide as they go.  It was hilarious.

*I will not use formula (until 6+ months)- I have no problem with formula, this just wasn't my plan.  For whatever reason I wasn't making enough for Adrian and we ended up having to supplement. This was a slippery slope for me.  He was only supposed to get an ounce but right now he is getting 4 oz after every feeding (except at night) because he is still hungry. This is messing with my supply even more but I'm a little scared to stop because I don't want him to have trouble with weight gain again. I felt like a total failure when the doctor said I had to supplement. I've never felt worse about anything in my whole life than I did about Adrian's weight. Drama queen or not, it's true. Thankfully he does not prefer the bottle and I have a plan to get us back to exclusive breastfeeding. Sorry if all of this is too much information.

     I find myself judging other parents a lot less; you just don't know what is going on in other people's lives.  All babies are different, all families are different and what works for one may not work for another.  I know I'm a late-comer with this revelation.  Good job self.

First trip grocery shopping by ourselves.  Success!

     I just thought of another random story.  A couple weeks ago I was watching a video on youtube about a dad trying to calm his crying baby.  When the youtube baby started crying Adrian got this pout on his face and bawled.  So I turned the video off and he calmed down.  I turned it back on and he cried with the baby.  I read this is the first step to developing empathy but not all babies do it.  I cry when other people cry, maybe he'll take after me.  Poor boy.